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How to help her quit meth, drugs?
Nice
Devil
945 |
How to help her quit meth, drugs?
I posted here 4 days ago with a question about my GF and
her meth addiction. I so appreciate all the compassion,
understanding and wisdom y’all shared. I followed your advice
and told her I cannot & will not see her again until she made
the decision to quit and gets treatment to help her do that.
So now my problem is solved.
But what about her? She, of course, is still a user.
What can I do to help her?
I am fully aware that I can’t make her quit or do it for her.
I know she will not quit until she decides she needs and wants
to quit
Is there anything I can do to help her make that decision?
She has no one else who cares if she quits or not. Most of her
family and friends are users. The rest of them are indifferent.
In addition to her meth addiction, she also smokes pot daily and
uses prescription morphine everyday, which, I think, she is also
addicted to. In the past she was a very heavy drinker, but right
now her consumption is rather low. She does not eat well. Her
diet is primarily sugar – soda pop, ice cream, candy bars and
pastry. Did I mention cigarettes? And if that isn’t enough, she
also has a gambling addiction.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help her see that she
needs to change before she completely destroys herself? I’m not
equipped to do anything except be her biggest cheerleader and
supporter. I know she has a lot of challenges and I have doubts
sometimes if she will make it. But I would be remiss if I didn’t
do all I can to help her. I just don’t know what that is. |
Replies... |
Windy
CityKen |
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
If I were in your situation, I would attend an
Al-Anon meeting. Although her drug of choice may not be
alcohol, in my experience in attending AA meetings as part of my
recovery, there has been minimal "translation" needed to get
something out of being with alcoholics even though I'm a
tweaker. Perhaps the same would be true in the Al-Anon
tradition.
The folks at these meetings have dealt with being having a loved
one who is an alcoholic/addict and know how to be of help to
them without going down with them.
To find an Al-Anon meeting near you:
www.al-anon.alateen.org/m...eting.html |
k8
kanguru |
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
Nice Devil
Here is a little mantra you might like to repeat until you learn
it by heart...
"I feel with loving compassion the problems of others
without getting caught up emotionally
in their predicaments
that are offering them messages
that they need
for their growth."
(Ken Keys)
Your girl has some very deep issues there, lots of self loathing
and fear of facing self.
Her problems are way beyond your scope to solve. She will need
help from people with oodles of experience and expertise.
You can't fix her. You even shouldn't try. It's not your job.
All you can do is let her know you are one person who cares and
thinks she's an ok human being despite all her c*ck-ups.
|
Rachel
sue76 |
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
Nice,
Wouldn't it be nice if the minute that we told someone that we
were not going to see them anymore until they decided to stop
using and get into a plan of recovery, if the did it?
Unfortunately, that is not usually the way it goes.
Sorry about your girl. You have such a little amount of time
invested in that relationship. |
jsmom |
Is there anything I can do to help her quit
meth, drugs?
Short answer to your question, and one which may
seem cold: probably not. You are obviously a compassionate and
caring person, but it would be so easy to lose yourself in
trying to help someone who isn't ready for help. Maybe she will
be someday, and the fact that she knows you will be there for
her when she is ready might eventually encourage her to get
help. However, you alone can't change all the problems she has -
drugs, diet, smoking, drinking at times- and you could end up
being used or actually getting sucked into her world.
My son, who is 22, is a user - in several senses of the word. He
is addicted to meth & in the process, has turned into someone
who uses people, especially those who love him. It breaks my
heart to see what he has become. We've told him so many times
that we will be there for him when he is ready to go to rehab.
He knows that & I hope & pray that someday he will decide to get
help. We have 22 years of our lives invested in loving him, and
the situation is getting worse & worse & is sucking us dry.
After just 7 weeks of a relationship with this woman, I feel
that you've done what you can- told her you can't be involved
with her & let he know that you be there for her when she's
ready to get help. The rest is up to her. Take care. |
Lisa |
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
There is NOTHING you can do to help her unless she
really and truly accepts that she has a problem, addresses it,
and wants to do the hard work required to get past it.
Without that....it's a losing proposition, unfortunately.
DON'T get sucked up in her world....I know it's tempting when
you're starting a relationship - I've been there, and I ended up
basically losing six years of my life.
Stand strong. It's the very best advice I can give, and I've
been on both sides of the fence.
|
25 years
but
no more
|
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
Welcome to the board!
Now you are treading on thin ice. You said
Quote:
Is there anything I can do to help her make that
decision?
Unfortunately, there is nothing that you
or anyone else can do to MAKE her do anything. Helping a meth
addict without getting sucked into it yourself is a hard thing
to do. I would suggest that you run the other way as fast as you
can and don't look back, but if you choose to try to help her
then I do have a few suggestions to make. Knowledge is power and
you can't fight what you don't understand. I would suggest that
BEFORE you decide to try to help her, that you read all of the
posts here everyday for 30 days. If at that time you still want
to help her then you will at least have some kind of idea of
what you are going up against. You owe it to YOURSELF to read
the posts here for 30 days, so that YOU understand just how easy
it is for YOU to get sucked up into it. You have less than a 1%
chance of being able to help her, and she has a better than 99%
chance of sucking you in. Choose carefully because this choice
could cost you YOUR life. |
nine
years
clean |
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
Quote:
Is there anything I can do to help her make that
decision?
In my humble opinion, NOPE!
Move on with your life.
Please. I wrote a response to your other thread, which I only
read this morning for the first time.
You may want to read it.
Anyway, I have oodles of experience, and I am old. Thank your
maker that her addiction was revealed to you after only 7 weeks.
You cannot help her unless she wants help.
Also, be prepared for lies and manipulation when/if you do talk
to her about quitting. She will tell you that she doesn't have a
problem, and she can quit anytime, and she may even promise to
quit.
These are all lies. Quitting and recovering cannot be someone
else's idea, you see?
She has to get to that place all by herself.
|
TerryCa |
Re: How to help her quit meth, drugs?
I agree, ditto to all of the messages above.
I have a 22yr old daughter drug addicted. No matter how much I
love her, try and talk with her about getting help, it doesn't
STOP her from using. Who's got a problem? What problem? Huh?
I'm afraid for her, not only exposing her self to scary
situations and people, but afraid for those people she suckers
in with what at the surface appears to be love and/or sex.
The drugs are #1 above all else! Don't fool yourself.
Yes, deep down she is still wonderful. Yes, I would love for you
to help her, but I would be VERY, VERY AFRAID for you!!!! |
See also:
Quitting Crystal Meth / Methamphetamine
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